Thursday, December 27, 2012

A reflection for 2012

As 2013 is approaching, let me reflect on 2012. It's gonna be a long post. With all my thoughts and feelings in it. If i have coincidentally mentioned anyone here, please don't be offended. I just want to share and also reflect on what has happened so far this year while i'm blogging. When i was uploading these pictures, i was thinking of many things to say. I don't know if i will really express it all out but let's see how it goes. 

As i grow up, i realize the growing up phase is not easy. Actually, i knew it all along that it won't be easy. But i had this feeling that i could conquer the fear, the pressure, the dark side... Yup, never easy. 2012 is really the year where i met many new things. I have never thought that i would be in this situation, never in my life. I have seen so much, probably more than my mother (like what she told me). The work in clubs has changed my perspective in many things. How i look at life changed, what i want to become changed. When i just turned 18, i had a stable life. Not too many ups and downs, but i know i want an adventure someday. And this day has arrived. I used to be really naive, i don't aim high. I just need a stable life where i could earn 3-4k a month, living with my husband and that's it. Then one day, i asked myself if i really want that. The answer turns out to be NO. I didn't want that. I want something more. 3-4k is never enough now. What i want is 10k now. And as we grow older, we desire more. This is life... Now, i want a rich & simple steady life. Don't get me wrong, you can always be earning less than 4k a month. As long as u think u r happy with it, its totally fine. What's most important is to live happily. But i know what i want & i'll go for it. And i know this path that i've chosen won't be easy, and i am certain that i won't be truly happy if i would to make difficult decisions. But when i think about looking at my bank book with an increase in 10k every month, i guess it will be worth it. But really, i have to live with the guy i love too! Trying so hard to make life perfect. 

I want to be the good daughter, a good mother and wife in the future, a good girlfriend, a good sister. 

A successful career. 


Of course... we gotta welcome a new year with a cake! I want a cake for 2013 too. And i really love number candles, especially those that can sparkle. 

January 11, a self-shot... I remember i was preparing to head out. 

January 14, my ECD project. Setting up booth for BAZAAR at Scape. I remember myself partying the last night. And i had barely 3 hours to sleep. But the day was kind. I thank god for that. And surprisingly, i look good when i don't have enough sleep! lol. 

January 16, a golf session organized by the school. It was my first time playing golf. I only like putting. And i really suck at driving... I say the world is very small. Because i met one of the instructors when i was working at Helipad. He happens to be a friend of my friend. 

January 19, i bought teenage magazine and check out me in it! haha. 

I look so different here. I remember that my face and eye was swollen that day. So suay! and i had unbalance eyelid too. 

January 22, a picture of the sunlight shining through my window. 

January 23, its Chinese New Year! Because my mother was in Hong Kong, me and my sis celebrated with our childhood friend and his mother is (obviously) my mother's friend too! 

Went over to Malaysia. Honestly, i never like to go there. You seldom see me tweeting about going to JB or anything related to Malaysia. And i have never visited KL too. 

KW, my childhood friend i know since we were 7. (at the right). And i'm so happy he finally has a girlfriend. wahaha. 

It was an amazing feeling watching fireworks above you. 

And we had a lot of food! 

January 29, went over to my friend's place for chinese new year. I don't usually visit friends' house during festivals. All my relatives are in Hong Kong. You can imagine how lonely i am during CNY ok! But we are all used to it. I just need my parents' ang bao money. LOL. 

And played with Cotton.. So cute! 

Receiving flowers during Valentine's Day. Thank u. I love small thoughts and little surprises. 

And this month was the month when i started working as a club promoter. My life literally changes. But that makes me stronger and i've seen a lot more than others of my age. 

Feb 24, Bryan bought me Victoria Secret's thongs from Hawaii! LOL. 


A picture sent over on whatsapp from New South Wales. 

And little surprises. White roses <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">
And more gifts from friends who went overseas! 

March 14, (just 1 day before my Birthday), working as an intern at Asia Pacific Star at the Airport. The internship made me learn a lot too. You learn how to survive in the working society. You witness people backstabbing, and the authority of what you can do and cannot do. (even when he/she is wrong). You just gotta listen to your boss. 

Anyway, this is lunch with Jessica. We were 2 course mate who barely know each other and thanks to internship, we become good friends now. And also, my first ever female friend whom i am so close with since Secondary School. 

March 15, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! I love the surprise when friends came over to my house with a birthday cake! These are my Primary school friends and KW was in. I love them so much. 

The sky on that day was exceptionally beautiful as well. 

And this the cake from my Father. Thanks daddy. 

March 16, wanted to buy Chloe's perfume. On a second thought, let's not waste the money! 

A really nice meal from New York New York with my sister.

And my birthday celebration drags on. Had a little celebration at Helipad. Thanks all my girls for coming! You guys made my "night" ! 

The cake melted :( . But everyone was so happy. LOL. 

March 22, Helipad again. 

March 24, decided to renovate my room. Change all the furnitures. It was half done. 

Had dinner with Tyler at Genki Sushi. I remember i was all into this place because i love the ambience and the food. Until one day i realized the traffic flow was too high. I had to wait to get seated. That was when i "left" Genki. But i will visit this place again when there are lesser people. 

A drink at Overeasy after dinner. Tyler dj over there. 

And after chilling awhile at Overeasy, headed over to Helipad! That day came and everything changed. But as i said, really good experience for me. At least i've learnt a precious lesson. Pat and i got closer too. Now that she has flew over to London, miss her! Can u believe she is earning over 20k a month at the age of 23? 

And we share certain stories together... 

And i miss my long black hair... 

 And the parties over the month... Plenty. 

The champagne and Sarongfly~~~ Brings back so much memories. 

With my hard earn money, i bought my first watch that is over a 100 bucks. Looking at its condition now, i know i didn't take good care of it. (><) Yup, i'm a rough person. hahaha. 

And the 2nd watch i have, jumped to 500 over bucks. That's Christmas this year. 

My first photoshoot with MiWi. I'm still wearing this dress now. 

And i have this dress too! 

I love this picture. 

April 5, my sister's birthday. We had crabs at Clarke Quay. I remember that day when i had not sleep for almost 36 hours. My brain stopped working & everything seem auto pilot. 

April 6, a photoshoot. This time, i took up the challenge to do a different kind of shoot. 

Before the shoot... Enjoy the vid! lol. 

With no make up on, i look innocent. Yes? Bare face is good sometimes. I can be myself. 
And the shoot begins. It took almost 5 hours!!! I swear i wanna die that day :( . That style was really not my forte. Its either you like it or you hate it. 

Yup, do u hate it or like it? 

During work at the airport... I had 4 more months for internship. I couldn't wait to finish it. 

Before sleep. 

Feeling trouble if i should cut my hair. After all this while, maybe its time to cut it. For i have long to be free. 

April 14, Yup, and the 3L Belvedere. 

April 21, the decision was made, i decided to cut my hair. These 5 years of memories simply flashed back. For a moment i felt free, i felt happy. But only for that while. I know this doesn't cure anything but mentally, i was too tired to bother. I wish i could lay down and sleep forever. 

This is how my hair becomes to rough now :( . i hate it! 

The satisfying result. I love my short hair though. 

April 22, right after Helipad on 21st, i headed over to Capella at 3am to carry on another party. There after we had Genki Sushi the next afternoon. 

April 27, buying decorations for my room at IKEA. Enjoying ice cream. 

April 29, High Society Passion 4. 

April 30, theme party at Helipad. Vallence was dressed as pilot. I'm the air stewardess. This dress was the shortest i've wore so far in my life. 

May 4, company's event at the Intercontinental! Both Jess and I dressed up for the event. She was wearing the necklace from Miwi that i model and i was wearing the necklace from her. haha. 

I truly love my hair that day! It was perfect! 
Too perfect... hahaha. 

May 5, we dine at Genki Sushi. LOL. Genki sushi again... I'm always bringing my friends over to Genki. 

Then i remember us shopping at Riverisland and taking pictures together. 

May 8, photoshoot with MiWi. 

May 12, Brunch at the roadhouse at Dempsey with Jessica! I love the food. 

A photo with Luke. I remember he insisted in taking pictures with me. i wasn't at the mood for phototaking that night. And i remember sitting at starbucks for 3 hours that night. That was what i did those weeks. Maybe i have too much to think about. I needed to give myself a break. 

June 14, my good colleague took a picture of me falling asleep during work (><). HAHA. My curls on the hair was really difficult to maintain. 

June 22, i met a new friend. He brought me to Wild Rocket for dinner. 


The month of food
Desserts with Jessica at the airport.

Lunch with colleagues from internship. 

Awfully Chocolate from my friend. 

Sushi at Ichiban Sushi. 

I couldn't wait for internship to end. It was already the month of July. My internship was ending on 3rd August! Straight after my internship ended in the evening, i flew over to Taiwan that very night. I was both happy and sad. Happy for a "new" start i would thought, sad that i have to leave the possible "good" things that could happen. 


The month of Holiday!
First time visiting Gao Hsiong. My aunty is marrying a Taiwanese. Their love story began from an online game. 

The view from the very top of the tallest building (i think) in Gao Hsiong. 

And i love the Korean Pancake and their Hong Cha! I could sit there and chill the whole day. 

Finally getting married. Feel so happy for them. I guess besides a successful career, a woman should also have a good husband. Where would be my good husband? I hope i'm lucky enough to have one. 

And we visited KenTing. 

In Hong Kong. 

Grandma hand picked all these awesome seafood for us! There were prawns and fish too. 
How can i leave out Dim Sum? 

And the night view!!! 

Though it was a short trip, i had fun. I had to go back to Singapore. Start preparing for school's reopening and my part time job. 

September was a boring month for me. There wasn't much to do and i stayed at home most of the days. Therefore, September is blank. But i was healing from bad memories. I was hoping to find a light that could guide me through the darkness. I was waiting for someone to save me. 


The unexpected month
October 14, got my timetable. I don't know whether to like it or hate it. I hate morning lessons! 

October 22, a photoshoot with Pascal. 

October 25, learning Stocks. I thought it would be fun but i didn't know there are so many to learn! 


The good things are happening
A dinner at Ichiban Sushi. 

Dinner at Bedrock. 

November is all about work, school, finding my direction... Having the right one... 

A photo sent from my sister in Beijing. 

My Christmas present for my sister. 

Made this during Christmas Eve. 

And the Christmas celebration. 

Sometimes i am still uncertain. These months were a roller coaster ride for me. Too many things happen too fast. And my final semester is ending in 2 months time. I will be relief there after. I need reassurance. I tend to think too much. I tend to think about all the consequences before i make a decision. I evaluate the pros and cons before i do something. These things make me paranoid. I have to learn to chill and relax. If things may turn out bad, there is nothing i can do. At least i know i've done my best. I will just cry and get over it after a while. But i know it takes a long time to heal a wound. 

I wish i could lay down beside you when the day is done. 
And wake up beside you, with your face against the morning sun. 
I remember how it all started. 
I met you by accident.
I remember everything you said, every small actions you did. 
If things ever change, let it change for the better. 
Let 2013 be a good year. 
Let the rest of the years be good years. 
Afterall, i'm just a simple girl.