Thursday, December 26, 2019

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE? WHERE IS MY HAPPINESS? QUARTER LIFE CRISIS?

Hello beautiful people, this post is not about beauty, food nor makeup. First and foremost, I really treat this platform as a way for me to write down my thoughts and to share and hopefully to inspire people (which i don't think i did a good job but i'm still trying here). Sometimes when i write here, i feel like i'm writing to myself. I have no idea who will be reading this or if anyone even reads it. So technically speaking, i feel like i'm just talking to myself ? Which is why why i've been able to be so honest in this platform (because why would i want to lie to myself?).

But who am i kidding? I looked up on my Google Analytics today and (not to my surprise because its not my first time checking on the analytics) you guys still read my blog! I have visitors everyday from all over Southeast Asia and some from USA. You may not be a follower and maybe just checking out this page because it has the keyword that you are finding, but still... i mean... i do have 'a power' to influence here! On my page!

So cut the crap what i'm saying here is... even though i know people read my blog, i still subconsciously tell myself that 'no one is reading so i'll speak whatever i want to speak'.

And so here let's get really deep (yeap.... talking to myself now) in THE MEANING OF LIFE. 


As i said this post has nothing to do with beauty, food nor makeup. Its really just going to be me talking about life, the meaning inside it, the happiness, and perhaps a bit on my 'quarter life crisis'. So if you are dealing with any of these that i mentioned, happy that you stick by and share your thoughts. I am not an expert here and really just sharing based off my personal experience.

As I began reading on some philosophy books lately and listening to podcasts about 'happiness' 'way to success' etc, it really got me thinking. I've always like these kinds of thoughts floating in my mind. I was quite 'dumb' when i was young and didn't really know i was actually into philosophy UNTIL REALLY JUST RECENTLY. How crazy... All my life i am searching for an answer to 'What is life' and i had no idea that Philosophy is a thing? Not until my therapist asked me "Kacey have you considered reading about Philosophy?" She also said, "I'm quite surprise you have these thoughts at your age."

So WHAT THE HELL IS LIFE? 

This is Kacey's theory: I give you 3 words - IT IS COMPLEX and 3 words - IT IS SIMPLE 

There we go, i think i can end my post now. lol. But yeah... let me just throw in more thoughts behind these 6 words that I practically just came out 5 seconds ago.

When I say 'IT IS COMPLEX' , i mean the way our brain works. Just my 2 cents here: There are so many neurological paths in our brain. Creating countless pathways and communications, unlocking new messages. The brain makes our life complicated. It makes us think more than what we really need to.

This is just another of 'my thoughts' - Way back after the Big Bang when life was created, humans only have one simple mindset - SURVIVAL. We get food, we eat, we shit, we reproduce. Just like the animals. But our brain, a gift from God, evolves through centuries. The brain thinks its better to simplify complicated processes, makes life easier. Agriculture, industrialisation, modernalisation... ya dah ya dah...

IT BECOMES COMPLEX. It makes life complex. We got complex. I can think of an example now: Back then at stone age, we eat because we need to survive just today. And tomorrow we repeat. Now when we eat, it is more than just survival. We choose the food we eat because of varies reasons - medical, beauty, religious etc. See, it gets complex. Even choosing the food goes through a complex system. We do rules of elimination.
'So i feel like no sushi today and no steak. I wanna go chinese'
'Ok chinese.. what do we have?'
'Noodles? Nope... Rice? Maybe... Buns? err not really.'
By rules of elimination. Sometimes we don't even know what we want to eat for lunch! It becomes a self created problem. Even when our fridge is full, we say 'oh fuck there's nothing in the fridge and i don't know what to eat.'

You see... it just got complicated. And we haven't even talk about the way we live. Relationships, jobs, money, status.

Sometimes I can't help but wonder, "Can't we just keep it simple?"

What the fuck are office politics seriously?

We can't fight how the brain works. It works this way for a reason.

And that is also why I am saying 'IT IS SIMPLE'.

Life is beautiful and simple, if we choose to see it this way. In my reading of the 'Power of Now', a paragraph has stuck in my mind. It goes like this "Often times we get nervous, afraid and unhappy because we try to look at our pasts or imagine the future. When you are at the present, you feel nothing. You feel at ease and happy."

Honestly, just look at it yourself, even for me. I got anxious because I can't picture where I should be at in the future. I became unhappy because I look back too much of the past. What could be undone if i could choose again.

In which now let me just softly transit to My Quarter Life Crisis sharing. QLC is real (Quarter Life Crisis I meant). It hit me so hard I didn't even realise I am suffering from it until my body is giving me signs. I spent a whole year dealing with it. And honestly, i am still trying to get over it now. I got anxious about the future. I rushed to my 'finishing line' when really I think i just hit myself damn hard to the wall. I was emotional (very). 'What am I doing here?' 'Is this where i'm supposed to be at?' 'God, please tell me what is my purpose here.' I'm not going to write about how pathetic i was here because I don't want any negative energy in this post. So yeah... QLC. Its real and deal with it. You can do it!

When I say life CAN BE SIMPLE, I really mean the way we think. I like to also associate this with our mind. Our mind is powerful. Can we see things without a dark shadow? Don't overthink. Live now. At this very present moment.

To me, i just think life is so much more than just working your ass off everyday in the office or trying to make time for family and friends. All these are the norm. Just sharing this to you, exclusively- If i die one day and if God is real and God can answer me one question, I would ask him "God, what is the purpose of life?" Fun fact, i have this prepared in my mind since I was 15.

Because honestly, I think i will never get the 'right' answer in my life or in anyone's life. But what i can also say is that we all have 'the right answer' in our mind as well. Its funny isnt it? So contradicting. Because to me, life is nothing but suffering of itself. My life is a joke. A birth on earth just for reproduction sake. But through this suffering and jokes, we can find happiness and ease. Its really the mind. I cannot undone what I have done in the past. Those stupid mistakes I made. Or maybe make more stupid mistakes because I was always trying to do things right. I will never know what holds in me the future. All I have is now. Right now, i have the power to type this and choose not to publish it. Right now, i can watch my netflix even though its already 1am or choose to go to bed. Whatever choices I make, its never being forced. I will never want to make all the right choices in my life. Sometimes, i have to make some wrong choices. As this we grow and learn. But through all these i choose to keep my mind clear and at ease (or at least i consistently try).

So this brings me to the end of this post. In conclusion, your life can be complex and your life can be simple. Either way, we all die. What's most important is that we live in the moment and live it out.

I hope you enjoy this post and I will write soon again.



ALSO, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY BOXING DAY! (Although we don't celebrate boxing day here but you guys are all over the world so yeah!)



xx




Tuesday, December 10, 2019

HONEST REVIEW: Q-Switch and V-Beam Laser Treatment at Clifford Clinic

Hello beautiful people! It has been such a long time since i've blogged. I've been wanting to write about this post for the longest time. Throughout these years, i have been suffering from acne problems. This was my first acne encounter back in 2016 you can read it here (click here).

Then in 2018, i got another lapse of acne breakout. This time, since i was already working and had more disposable income, i decided to try out laser treatment. So i went to one of the most famous laser clinics in Singapore - The Clifford Clinic in the hopes of getting my acne marks/scars treated. Dr Ee was my doctor and suggested me to do Q-switch and V-beam. A total of 10 sessions (alternating between 5 sessions of Q-Switch and 5 sessions of V-beam). The total cost of this laser treatment package is a whooping SGD2800. He also prescribed me with their clinic's moisturizer and a Vitamin A cream which was another SGD150 (around there). The moisturizer itself cost SGD90.

I'm going to cut this story really short because i know you guys only want to know if this is really worth it!

Ok here we go: After the first 2 treatments (doing Q-switch first then V-beam 2 weeks later), I saw tremendous result. My acne scars were literally diminishing! I went back after a month for Q-switch since my acne marks were already much less noticeable.

Then i went back after 2 months for V-beam since by that time i already didn't care much as my acne marks were almost entirely gone. lol.

But the problem CAME BACK afterwards. Somehow, i don't know why, my acne marks started coming out again. And i started having some breakouts again. Its on and off. But every time after i visited the clinic, my acne would seem to be much better.

For the rest of the 4 treatments, it took me closed to 8 months to finish it. The longest hiatus i took was a 4 month period. Actually it was not because i was lazy to go, the actual reason was really because THE WAITING TIME IS SO DAMN F* LONG !!!!

Even if i had book an appointment, i could still wait up to 45 minutes ! And mind you the laser treatment itself was only 3-4 minutes max. I really don't understand how the staff manage the bookings.

There was one time i waited for an hour. My appointment was 6pm, i came in at 6.05pm and i waited until 7.05pm for my turn. I was so hungry by then, just got off from work, really tired and the last thing i needed was waiting. That explains why i took a 4 months hiatus from getting my next treatment. I really dislike the waiting time.

In summary and to be fair, the laser treatment will work and i feel you need to really be consistent with the treatment. And i certainly think 10 sessions weren't enough for me. Below are the AFTER pictures (sorry i do not have the before but just imagine it as 3x worse):

My left profile after 5 sessions of V-beam and 5 sessions of Q-switch 

My right profile after 5 sessions of V-beam and 5 sessions of Q-switch 




These photos were taken back in June 2019 and just a note for it : It was a beginning of another lapse of acne breakout for me. You can clearly see a new pimple on my left cheek and one inflamed buddy on my right cheek. Right now as i'm writing this post (i.e. 6 months after), my acne has subsided AGAIN but i'm left with alot of acne marks AGAIN (god i don't know how many times i need to go through this) For one shocking fact, the cause and types of acne i'm getting in all these 3 episodes of acne breakout was quite different. I'm still trying to figure it all out. All i can say for this latest acne breakout was mainly due to stress and diet. We will talk about this another day. 

So here's the end of my post. Disclaimer: I paid for everything in this laser treatment and am not sponsored to speak or promote in any way. Take away: I recommend you to try out Q-switch and V-beam but really do be consistent with your treatment. And also, just be sure that you have already cured the root of your acne problem before going for this treatment. 


Thanks for reading this honest review.


xx