Friday, January 3, 2020

Lessons you should take after all the breakups | For heart broken people

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! I hope you had an amazing count down. Although its the new year, i also sense that many might have just ended their relationship, be it long term or short term. Either way sucks.

After several unfruitful relationships, i summon my courage to write this post as it is something really personal but i'm sure many ladies out here could understand it.

Why do we break up from relationship?

I always believe it is at no one's fault should a relationship end. Because each other had a choice, and you choose to be in this relationship. So if it fails, then suck it up. Dreams are fancy, reality is harsh. Has it ever felt like a dream to you? One day you woke up, looked back, and felt like it was a dream. I don't know if any of you feel this but it certainly did to me. If i reflect on my past relationships, it felt like a dream. But every dream has its own lesson to learn.

A few lessons you can take from:

1. What you thought was real was not 
Some of us like to dream. When we thought we meet the right guy (finally), we quickly jump on the love boat. However we were too quick to make rational decisions because, honestly dear, you fell in love with your fantasy. You picture that guy to be perfect and ignore signs that were given to you. Perhaps some time later you then realise he is not the one you are looking for. And now it's difficult to break because both of you had created so much memories. You know what kills? The memories. They haunt. But anyhow, you know you gotta do it. And so you break because he is no longer what you fantasize. Wake up girl.

2. He offered you too much in the beginning, leading to a certain expectation from you
Alright, no blames here. Perhaps the reason you got into this relationship was because of the amazing things he done for you. And so it naturally leads you to form a certain expectation from this guy. Maybe to the guy, this is how he is as his character but to you, you see a different picture. And so when you don't receive the same service from him in the long run, you grew unsure. Does he still love me? Why has the relationship become like this? Perhaps the guys here can take note of this: If you know you can't go on the extra mile for this girl in the long run, then don't even start in the beginning.

3. You just dated a total asshole
Truth is, you never know if this guy is an asshole until days grow old. And i think this may be the only exception that the fault lines in the guy. It can be really difficult to tell. Its like a cunning liar trying to get your feelings and then hurt you because he is simply an asshole. In this case, even if the relationship ends, you have nothing to be sad about. Thank yourself because you just saved your mind, soul and body from harm. And all those memories? There are not even real in the first place. So thank you, NEXT.

4. Both have different values & perceptions in life
Perhaps it was a wonderful start for both of you, totally aligned. But the universe will always lead you to the right path eventually. People change and so are their values and perceptions. Its at nobody's fault. Things just happen. Two people on a different tune now shall find their own destined path. This could be the hardest goodbye in my opinion because it could be the most sincere & pure love at the beginning. Just that as time pass, values deviated. You have to let it go. Keep those memories in your heart and let them be buried with you when your ashes return to nature.

I guess what's most important is that you have to know what you want and be honest to yourself. I understand how some women feel that its important for the men to have money. Everyone has their stories. I read about why its not wrong for a woman to be 'materialistic'. Here is it: The monetary status represents resources and naturally women need as much resources as possible. This is to protect their offspring.

I also recommend you to read the book "5 languages of love". In a nut shell, sometimes we think that our partner doesn't love us but in fact, they love you. The problem is that both of you have a different love language. Go read it! I think its interesting.

And here i shall end this post. If you are in the midst of amending your heart, may i give you my love. Girl, i know its hard. Imagine 10 years later, those tears will be good lesson. Always know that someone is there for you. Don't ever make yourself feel that you are alone. And i know its hard to speak of your feelings. Maybe you are crying on your bed now. Wouldn't be nice to disturb your friends and talk about your feelings right? Never mind if you don't want to share, but know at least someone will always be there for you. Or at least I am here, giving you good energy. Your heart, although will be scarred, but see this as just a moment of pain. This moment could be 1 year, 2 years, 6 months. Universe will guide you eventually. Believe in that leap of faith.

Good Luck ! With lots of love.


1 comment:

  1. Its not wrong for a woman to be "materialistic", everyone wants a finished product.

    However, you cant blame the guy for wanting a woman who will stick through thick and thin with him.

    When a guy starts to live for your dreams, ends up feeling that within this dream these isn't a place for him.

    Memories are haunting but not as haunting as pictures. Try not to keep any, cause they really hurt.